Arun Tejasvi Chaganty about articles blog thoughts research

A Romantic Night with Madame DBus

A warning to potential readers (if they exist), this following article is slightly technical. As a move to make it remotely bareable, I have decided to blindly splatter it with over-dramatization, poor jokes and innuendo. Hopefully, you will enjoy it, whether or not you have a technical background. It might help to replace my characters with whoever you’d think I’d be uncomfortable with. Do comment on your selection.

’Tis the eve of Valentine’s. I can imagine thousands of couples all over the world planning a romantic day/night. It also happens to be the eve of my most feared quiz, my arch nemisis, Dr. ThermoD (yes, he has a thick curly black mouschtache and speaks french). However, in the true spirit of love, I decided to blindly force my way through all reason and spend some quality time with my sweetheart through the wee hours of the night. Having no luck in the quarter of an actual person, I turn to the only area where I can hold my own fort, FOSS (Free and Open Source Software). My partner for the evening, the vivacious Madame DBus (who apparently is a petite brunette with a (3 arbitrary figures separated with hyphens) figure. She’s probably French as well), is quite popular with the closeted community of developers. In fact, she’s responsible for getting all of us to talk to each other and live in harmony (to those remotely interested, this is a vague reference to the fact that DBus is a inter-process messaging bus/protocol, whatever that means…).

I set the mood for the evening with some music, I don’t quite remember what it was, but for the sake of this post, let’s assume it was nice and romantic. With some basic documentation on one edge of my screen, and a terminal on the other, I started to delve deeper into life and times of this mysterious woman. The going was slow, and my lack of sleep was evident as I fumbled often throughout our outting. My aim was to hook up the lovely lady DBus with my favourite lily, Ms. RhythmBox (which sounds very awkward). Any scenes of us getting it on may be graphic, and I won’t paint them here. I shall simply go as far as to say that I managed to get both of them into a conversationalist mode by about 3 in the morning. Deciding to give it a rest, I sleep, wake up, screw up my thermo paper rather badly (to Dr. TD: you may have won the battle, but you surely haven’t won the war), and get hacking on it again in the evening. Being a man of the 21st century, I have no issues with the fact that DBus is seeing more than one man. However, I am curious to see if any other chap has tried what I have; mating these two lovely ladies at once (see how technical jargon just lends it’s way to innuendo?).

Curiousity surely killed the cat. The fact that I had already screwed up my quiz paper compounded with the shock that not one, but many individuals had pulled this off (and I hadn’t as yet) tore at my heart. I decided to leave her to her own wiles, and keep our relationship merely a friendship. And now I’m lonely once more.